New Category, Wisdom of Age aka Something I should have learned by the time I was 30:
If you dine at an all-you-can-eat Asian buffet, fuck trying to eat healthy with seafood and sushi options, items baked and boiled. Stick exclusively to deep fried anything, cause all the germs will be kilt, and you won’t spend a half hour with your head in the turlet while your dog makes fun of you.
Having been there to see da kine, I can say that this is fo real
Burger King ignites Spam war with rival - Yahoo! News
HONOLULU - For many Americans, spam is a four-letter word for unwanted e-mail. In Hawaii, Spam is a beloved comfort food, with cans of the gelatinous pork bricks found in virtually every cupboard.Hoping to cash in on Hawaii’s love affair with the pinkish meat product, Burger King Corp. last month began offering Spam for breakfast — going head-to-head with rival McDonald’s Corp., which has been featuring Spam in the islands for years.
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Despite being one of the least-populated states, Hawaii leads the nation in consumption of the Hormel Foods Corp. product. It’s been a hit ever since World War II. Isle residents consume more than 5 million pounds of Spam a year, an average of about six cans for every man, woman and child.
Hawaiians Love Spam.
Cousin Josh (Rachel’s side) is an entertainment lawyer in NYC. He represents these guys, who I never sought out, but did wind up “illegally” downloading their whole season. I haven’t watched it yet, but if this is any indication I will enjoy it. I am not saying you should illegally download it, as they made no money from it at Fuse. But, the dvd is coming out soon, and if you like it you could drop some cake.
BTW - We talked about it at his brothers wedding last night, which gave me license to throw the slow jerk on occasion, leading to much laughter to those in the know, and much consternation to many others.
I’ve been listening to the back catalog of Penn Radio podcasts (now dead). When asked why he always responds: “Never better, boss,” to a caller’s inquiry about his state of being, he said (and I paraphrase):
The past is a memory.
The future is a probability.
So I can truly say, always, that as of this moment, I’ve never been better.
This statement resonates on such a level that it approaches the sublime.
Penn is a mad Atheist, which I am not. He is a big-L Libertarian, whilst I am a small-l libertarian. He thinks the greatest book written in the English language is Moby Dick, and he is correct. We are similar in many ways, but different in others, but I have taken something he said and plan to use it as my response to inquiries about my well-being in the future because his formulation is so spot-on that it makes me almost emotional*.
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* My old answer to questions such as “How are you?” was:
“Every day is a good day.”
Many people take this to mean that if you aren’t dead, you are doing well. I let them think this because it is, in many ways, correct. In actuality, it is a koan that highlights the loss of ego. Every day is a good day: just maybe not for you. Someone is having a good day even if yours is shitty. Re: the title of the post.
So Courtney calls me at work today. She had been home all of three hours, and went to her car and it wouldn’t start. “I need a new battery,” she says. “I’ll jump start you when I get home. You don’t need a new battery,” I says.
I clean the terminals, the connectors, etc. because I’m all fastidious and shit, then I try to jump start her car. It not only won’t start, but the clock doesn’t come on or anything. I figure she was right from the get-go and go buy her a new battery. I swap the batteries, put the key in the ignition, and…nada.
Then, after spending $101.11 on a new battery and driving all over Waipahu for an hour trying to find an auto parts store open, I do what any moron would have done to begin with. I check the connections and fuses. Sure as shit, there is an 80-amp fuse busted. It’s been raining for six weeks, and only after spending the scrilla does it occur to me that mayhaps it is a fuse. Cost of the real repair? $4.39.
When I was working at the DMMC (second definition), I would host the maintenance meetings, and I used to chew peoples’ asses for doing something like that. The old battery may well be dead (Courtney said the clock wasn’t working when she first tried to start it, and this is on a vehicle that started on the first try after her 6-month deployment with the battery hooked up), but I should still have checked the damn fuses.
