Corcoran Brothers

My fake front tooth broke three weeks ago, and I shan’t get into the amount of hullaballoo I went through to get it fixed within 12 hours and why.  It was serious enough that I considered throwing some Krazy glue on it and sticking it back in my mouth.

When I went to the dentist, I told the hygienist my krazy plan, laughing at my own silliness, and she told me that they basically use krazy glue themselves to fix those mofos, but it has some hospital-type name.  They made me a new tooth which was done in two days, but it fit like crap.  It is too thick, the tooth doesn’t match mine, and it makes my teeth hurt.  I said screw it, and put the old ‘temporary’ patched-up one back in.  You see, that was fine, because I had a consult for a week ago to get a permanent bridge.  Oops! The dentist I was doing the consult with had to cancel my appointment, and now my appointment isn’t until April.  The patch job broke again four days ago.

I put the new, ill-fitting, tooth in and suffered for two days, then went to the dentist and had them try to thin it up a bit, vanity be damned!  (For real, it looks like an old person tooth from the time of the Great War.)  I wore it for another day and was still miserable, taking it out and lisping whenever the pain made me sissyish.

Finally, last night I said, “fuck it”, went and bought some Krazy Glue and did the patch job myself.  I did about five dry runs (as I have no ketone around to undue a bad bond), hit it with a few drops, and pressed that stuff together.  I let it sit for a few hours, then stuck it back in my face.  It’s brilliant!  It fits perfectly, seems reasonably strong, and looks twelve times better.  Sure, my wife calls me “Krazy Glue face”, but I am comfortable and don’t need to spend another minute in the dentist’s office until they start shaving my teeth down to fit a bridge on.

I still carry the extra tooth around in my gym bag, along with the bottle o’ glue, because I work in contingencies.  My fix just needs to last another two weeks and I’m golden.  Believe this.

1. NEW KINTEES !!!! Brand new designs from the brothers you are inclined to emulate and yet despise due to your envy. Is that reasonably acceptable ? Yes, yes I believe that it is !!!

Got Youk ?

Let Jim In

2. I went into my local Price Rite (aka the ghetto chopper) to load up on cheap produce and milk. Overhead ? Devo’s “Workin’ in a Coal Mine”.  Damn, that’s happenin’.

3. Former Sox fatty favorite, now Padre, David Wells, diagnosed with Type II Diabetes. Is anyone shocked ? Anyone ?

I like to mispronounce diseases and insult people by telling them they have them: herps, hepatitties, loops.  It’s fun for the whole family. Alternately, you can pronounce HIV as though it were a noun, and tell someone they have the hiv.

My new favorite thing is FIV.  I found out about it a couple of years ago, but it’s only in the past few months that it had gained a place in my repertoire of quick snaps.  It never stops being funny.  I was at a blood drive, and someone asked if my hairy Irish ass could give blood without infecting the recipient with lycanthropy.  I responded that the insulter was lucky the Red Cross didn’t screen for Cat AIDS, or they’d ne’er be able to give.  For the life of me, I don’t know why it is funny every single time, but it is.  Feel free to add it to your kit bag of disposable lines.

well, our basement is being refinished or remodeled. whichever one means “creating four rooms out of raw space”. i’ll be putting up some pics this week.
it’s going to be pretty cool, adding more than 700 sq. ft. to our living area. the added rooms will be a tv/living room, a kid’s playroom, exercise room and computer room. tons of storage/closet space and eventually, a bar. a really cool bar. with a kegerator. and maybe a margarita machine.

when it’s finished, you’re all invited over to watch a big tv and have adult beverages.

1. i will break the 290 barrier in my thursday night shooting league.

2.  i will lessen my swearing by incorporating BSG’s “frak” into my vocabulary. other words that will become common parlance with me: ropy (RG) shiny, gor’ram, (firefly), and gunna (dark tower).

3. gunna will be an important word, because, in the second quarter this year, i will create a deer (or elk, moose) skin bag, loosely base on this DIY messenger bag. it will have less gunk and a middle padded section for a laptop. plus neat little bone/claw buttons.

4. i have learned 5 new songs on the guitar. more to follow. the goal is to have 60 songs by my birthday.

5. kintees.com will have a crackin’ new matsuzaka shirt, we will advertise and ship to japan. also, potential wakefield and youkilis attire. keep your eyes peeled.

peace out homeys.

clap, clap…

all apologies to my peeps. i’ve been as shiftless as a state employee when i comes to posting on this blog. here is some excellent stuff from somewhere inside my head:

the next harry potter book has a name. HP and the deathly gallows. pissah. my guesstimate is a 7/7/07 launch date for the book. it makes sense, it’s after midnight friday (the previous three launches were after midnight fridays to accomodate the parties, events, hoopla, etc. and the OoTP movie launches the next friday. there could be a gigundic maelstrom of HP come next july.

kintees.com did a robust xmas business. “viva el papi” was (as usual) the big seller, but a tip of the cap to “manny’s kidz” and “ortizzle in the heezy”. check out our sale, 20% off non-papi shirts.

ricky has an international tour potentially coming up. yeeeehah. the opening act should be karl getting questions from the audience. of course, he would rapidly assume the headlining spot.

2007 is the year of the rugby world cup. one of the very few reasons i would ever want to visit france. the top five sides have to be, in order: new zealand, ireland, south africa, france and argentina. england has been a major, major disappointment after their WC championship last time ’round. only a last second win against the pacific islands stopped their skid at eight straight international losses. couldn’t happen to a better bunch of guys.

NZ and Irl, by the by, could almost field two top ten teams apiece, they are very deep. NZ is clearly the team to beat.

merry christmas to all. my god bless you and keep you and make his face to shine upon you. rain softly on fields and that.

Please ignore me

Buy the new k-fed cd