Corcoran Brothers

Not a great long term thinker, but a giant set o’ balls on him

13 Year Old Steals Dad’s Credit Card to Buy Hookers

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

I looked for this story a long time ago and couldn’t find it, but a Fark thread linking to Very Special Forces spurred me on to resuming the search, with positive results!

Department Of Homeland Security Deputizes Real Mean Dog

WASHINGTON, DC—Unveiling its newest weapon in the fight against terrorism Monday, the Department of Homeland Security announced the deputization of Rufus, a big ol’ mongrel ornery enough to make Al Qaeda think twice about carrying out an attack against the U.S.

“Rufus here has one wild hair up his ass ’bout most everything,” said Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge, as he introduced the dog, a Rottweiler-pitbull-Doberman mix, to the White House press corps. “But I got a feelin’ Rufus has a ’specially wild hair to fetch him up some of them Ay-rab terrorist types.”…

Rufus is widely regarded as the meanest dog employed by the State Department since Bocephalus, a hard-on of a coon hound who was, by all accounts, crazier than possum fuck. Bocephalus made worldwide headlines in October 1979 when he attempted to tree the Ayatollah.

Read the whole thing. Yulavious.

so, for the last two weeks the family and i’ve been stricken by a mystery virus. it started off all headcold-like in Maggie, then Colleen.

a week ago, it smacked me pretty good. full on coughing, stuffed sinuses, no appetite (i mean, c’mon, you KNOW i’m ill), chills, fever, etc.

the best part for me was the angioedema. welts. hives. loads of them and at inconvenient times, like 3 or 4 am. i wanted to rip my skin off. oh, yeah, plus my lips, hands and feet swole up like sherman klump. i wound up in the ER for 4.5 hrs of a sunday. the proscribed course of 4 days of prednizone and a 14 day supply of benedryl just about has it knocked out, although the cough, dopiness and fear of “leakage” (don’t let your mind wander too far) remain.

i have never hated the writer’s strike so much, although i’ve been forced to try a few new shows.

• watched the first two episodes of CBS’ “moonlight”. pretty decent. intriguing. good to see jason dohring doing the same exact Vmars thing. also, two Vmars references in the first show. nice tribute.
• watched first two Fox’ “sarah connor chronicles”. great to see old friend summer glau. she totally kicks ass in a completely different way than river tam. decent show.
• lost fiends. find815.com, the new lost game. easy. good. nice teaser.
• knocked up was funny enough. i think seth rogen, and i know i’m out here on a limb, likes to a-smoke-a-da-weed.
• munster rugby, the patriots, the celts. what else to say ?

alright. back to gettin’ better. if i drink another glass of oj i might just puke.

Sherborn teen charged with bestiality - Framingham, MA - The MetroWest Daily News
Roger Henderson II, 18, was arraigned yesterday in Natick District Court on charges of bestiality, cruelty to animals and breaking and entering in connection with an incident police say took place at Boggastow Farm on June 27.

There’s a sheep farm near here? My celtic roots are howling!

Seriously, how horrible is this. First, for the sheep. Secondly, for the kid. The farmer couldn’t handled this personally? A good old fashion ass kicking? This dude has had his life ruined. Of course, I’m not helping by posting about it, but then again, I ain’t never been caught fucking a sheep.

5 points for everyone whose first thought was, a la Billy Connolly, “yah gotta bring em to the edge of the cliff, that way they back up on ya!”

I like to write malleable jokes that are easy to change and, accordingly, never get old. Here’s the newest.

Two gay guys walk into a bar…but enough about Sean and Seamus.

The other ones are better than that, but I’m afraid to write them in case I run for office in the future.

Cousin Josh (Rachel’s side) is an entertainment lawyer in NYC. He represents these guys, who I never sought out, but did wind up “illegally” downloading their whole season. I haven’t watched it yet, but if this is any indication I will enjoy it. I am not saying you should illegally download it, as they made no money from it at Fuse. But, the dvd is coming out soon, and if you like it you could drop some cake.

BTW - We talked about it at his brothers wedding last night, which gave me license to throw the slow jerk on occasion, leading to much laughter to those in the know, and much consternation to many others.

I like to mispronounce diseases and insult people by telling them they have them: herps, hepatitties, loops.  It’s fun for the whole family. Alternately, you can pronounce HIV as though it were a noun, and tell someone they have the hiv.

My new favorite thing is FIV.  I found out about it a couple of years ago, but it’s only in the past few months that it had gained a place in my repertoire of quick snaps.  It never stops being funny.  I was at a blood drive, and someone asked if my hairy Irish ass could give blood without infecting the recipient with lycanthropy.  I responded that the insulter was lucky the Red Cross didn’t screen for Cat AIDS, or they’d ne’er be able to give.  For the life of me, I don’t know why it is funny every single time, but it is.  Feel free to add it to your kit bag of disposable lines.

YouTube actually has some stuff that doesn’t involve teens lighting shit on fire or poorly lip-synching pop shit.  I have found an example.  Do you like Scrubs?  Do you remember the Charlie Brown Christmas Special?  Well, then, here’s 10 minutes of joy for ye.