Corcoran Brothers

Man, I hate tourists. 

Let me say that again.  I hate tourists with an unabiding passion.  Tourists, to me, are ticks that suck the happiness out of life.  Nothing specific happened to bring about this declaration, but I am on staff duty and a bit bored, so I thought I’d share my bile.

Why do I hate tourists?  Let me count the ways.

1.  They go someplace foreign or exotic, then clog up the McDonalds, Gap Store, Gucci, etc.  Don’t they have those in or near Frackville, GA?  Why can’t I go to Denny’s once a year without being crowded out by sunburned yenta from NY?

2. They have no respect for local culture.  I know I’m not the only one who has been in a foreign country and seen Americans get angry that nobody speaks English. In addition, the pace of life is slower or faster some places.  Tourists don’t know how to deal with it.

3. They join tours, go where everyone else goes, take pictures of the things they saw in Frommers, and then go back to the hotel to interact with other people on the tour. Why not just watch the Travel Channel?

Those are just three quick ones.  I will let folks leave more examples in the comments.  Everyone in Boston should have a good 2-3 off the top of their head.

Courtney pointed out to me one time that we like to travel, and wondered if that meant we were tourists.  Hell no!  I have been a tourist only once and I was young and dumb, but at least I ordered from McDonald’s in Italian.  No, I am a traveller when I go someplace.  What does that mean?  I have boiled it down to this simple comparison:

A tourist goes someplace to see things; a traveller goes someplace to experience things.

An alternative to ‘experience things’ is ‘meet people’, but that flows too cutely for me.  What does that mean in practice? I won’t use Ireland as an example of how I travel rather than tour, since it is too easy.  Let’s take my most recent trips overseas, which of course were for work, but they provide a good image of what I mean. 

I frigging loved Afghanistan and Kuwait (especially the British doctors ).  Even some people I work with think I’m nuts.  Why did I like those places?  Because I got to experience the rude beauty of a country that looks like something out of an epic movie (Afghanistan) or a cyperpunk novel (Kuwait), interact with all kinds of different people, and get a bit of understanding how those people live.  I listened to their music on a Grundig radio, ate nan bread with old Pashtun men who didn’t speak English, and listened to the calls for prayer with a weird delight. Awesome.

How about domestic travel?  I went to Courtney’s AO in Northern Virginia recently and tried to get the vibe. I had the most fun in Old Town Alexandria, VA - a town that gives Plymouth and Nantucket a run for their money. I had the least fun at Tyson’s Corner, Arlington, and other places where we were required to go for reasons that will remain hidden. Richmond is stocked with independent bookstores, record stores, restaurants, coffee bars, et al.  It has historic architecture and a cultural identity.  The others are Route 1 in Saugus on steroids, with office parks thrown in at random. The tourists tended to gravitate towards DC or the malls in those faux-Saugi.

That last bit might just be me liking one town over the other, but I can honestly say I didn’t see any tourists in Alexandria, while they were all over the place in the malls I was required to go to.

I’m sure Jake will find a way to light me up, because tourists seem to hit the same nerve in me that ‘cool’ stuff does, but I’m going to put it out there anyway.  Thoughts?

You notice I never talk specifics about my work. Y’all know I am a geek, but I never stated what my company really does. You know I have been going full bore the past month plus, but why?

The Globe did a nice write up on my company, thought I might share it with you. Hell, if it’s in the paper, I’m not divulging any trade secrets right?

Health insurance firms, customers connect - The Boston Globe
BURLINGTON — It would be nearly impossible for health insurance companies to call all of their 250 million customers.

But Burlington-based Silverlink Communications Inc. provides a way to call thousands of people quickly and cheaply, while still allowing more than just a standard, static message.

They do appreciate all the hard work we do, and it is nice when a startup starts doing well. Last week the company founders Stan and Paulo took the Operations Department out for dinner to Grill 23. The whole evening was amazing. Almost everyone got lit up, but to the same level, so no one looked like an ass. But Shay, if you were lit up, how did you drive home from Boston? you ask. Why I did not need to drive, as the company sent a limo to pick up Ghost dog, myself and our hot ladies. (I somehow wound up with Ghost Dog’s wife’s pantyhose in my pocket.)

Things should be pretty quiet the next week and a half or so, then back to dropping the hammer for another month.

So I found my digital camera several weeks ago, with a bunch of pictures from Kuwait. It had some slight dings and scratches, what with the vicious car wreck and all, but it still works like a chahm. There were also several pictures from Bagram, Afghanistan, but they are boring and I shan’t display them here.

First up, there’s a picture of Colin Quinn, who came with a crew of yularious comics to Kuwait, then they were heading to Iraq for more USO shows. Here’s how it went down: I hear about the Colin Quinn show a day or two ahead of schedule, and since Tough Crowd was my favorite comedy show on TV (sorry, Arrested Development), I had to check it out. I actually went to the site of the show an hour or so ahead of time to shop at the Arifjan PX and stake out a good seat. Seeing as I planned on being there a while before anything happened, I brought a book with me for some light reading. The book was by Stephen King, but it was no horror, friends: it was about the Red Sox winning the World Series.

I have this book with me when I see one of the comedians, Robert Kelly, chilling outside the PX. He was on Tough Crowd several times and he was neighbors with TC regular Jim Norton, so I recognize him quickly. I mistakenly thought he was from NYC, however, so I went over, introduced myself, and immediately busted on the Chokees for losing 4 in a row and allowing my beloved Red Sox to take home their first championship in 86 years. He laughed and pointed out that he is a Red Sox fan originally from Meffa, but has lived in NYC for a while, hence the confusion. He then pointed out that one of his co-comics (I can’t recall the name, but he was a funny mofo) was from NYC and a huge Spankees fan, so he set up a way for us to go over and bust his balls hard. Long story short (remember that these guys flew 18 hours to a war zone to entertain folks of my ilk), we proceeded to shit on this cat for five minutes, with some talk of shoving 26 rings up certain orifices, and overpaid slappers, and Jeter drinking girl drinks. Now to the meat of it.

I am in the middle of some clever quip when I am literally almost tackled from behind, then locked in a bear hug. “What the fuck’s goin’ on ovah here? Who wants to fight?” says my unknown assailant. I break the embrace and turn around to see Colin Quinn himself shadow boxing and threatening to beat everyone up. That’s my introduction to my favorite comedian (sorry, Dave Chappelle).

We get to rapping and we literally talk for about 25 minutes. He wants to know what I do, where I’ve been, what Afghanistan was like, etc. I find out from him that Tough Crowd was cancelled and threaten violence on the Jon Stewart-loving execs at Comedy Central. I can’t remember verbatim what was said since it was such a long conversation and happened, oh, two days before I got brain damage, but there was some talk about his appearance on Celebrity Poker Showdown and the fact that Camryn Manheim was hitting on him even though I thought she like girls, when he pointed out that lots of actresses were “dykes” but they all hit on him anyway, because he’s so attractive. I point out that he has a show starting in about ten minutes, so he scoots off to perform outside. I know it was a long story, but funny as hell…to me.

This next picture is at Kuwait City International Airport, and shows us about to load a RTCH onto a C-17. This is the first time these things have been flown out of there, so the Air Force guys actually relied on my 88Ns (movement experts) to load it up properly. These are the monstrous things Seamus referred to us moving right before the ‘incident‘.

In the left of the foreground, next to the guy in the leather jacket, is MSG Barraza who is skillfully dipping while drinking coffee. It was 3 in the AM and we’d been up for a good 24 hours or so, so you can hardly blame him. In the middle ground, on the left and barely visible, are SGT Breuer and SPC(P) Salas, my movement gurus. Everyone else in uniform is Air Force, and driving the RTCH is the Kalmar representative, Johnotto Karlsson (sp.?), who hurried back from Iraq to help us because nobody else could drive it. I can’t remember who the guys in civilian clothes are.

Finally, here is us strapping that mug into the C-17.

Believe it or not, this is with less than 5% of the chains secured. There were gobs more chains to the rear, front, and sides before it was ready to fly. All four of us were throwing chains up and tightening them along with Johnotto and the entire Air Force crew (minus the pilots). You know there’s a lot to do when you have a captain and future sergeant major getting dirty. But that’s how we rolled. In the middle is SPC(P) Salas doing the tensioning right next to the blocking/bracing (wooden thingy) which we had to have special made. It prevents the suspension from travelling up and down during flight which can be a bit problematic when you’re carrying something that weighs as much as a tank.

Our very first VODKA (Virtual Online Da Kine Award) Has been awarded. We were much bemused that it was neither virtual nor online.

Jake received the award in the category of “Most supportive having never met Da Kine” Hell, Jake gets it for being most supportive period. On the thread, Jake made 15 well-wishing comments, on his own blogs he posted about this at least 6 times.

It was with great honor, Jake was presented the first VODKA.

UPDATE - I apologize to the IE users on behalf of Microsoft, who refuses to follow CSS standards. If you had to scroll way down to see the picture, or posts, I have corrected the issue, obviously. And for fooks sake, get Firefox!

I have decided to keep updating this one post instead of creating new ones, so people coming in on links from other sites can better follow the situation and the comments (a da kine meme as it were.) Clicking on an “Update” link directly below will bring you to the newest section of the post. This post will remain at the top of the front page.

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2005-03-16 - Update Below *Must Read
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Da Kine as you all know went from Afghanistan to Kuwait. His job was to make sure supplies and equipment destined for the Stan did not get diverted, and that things went smoothly. One big project he was finishing up was moving some extremely heavy equipment from Kuwait. He oversaw the unloading of the equipment, loading it onto a train, shipping it to the airport, and finally loading it onto a C-117 for air shipment. Friday night he was at the airport doing just that. Whilst waiting for the next plane to come in, he called and spoke to Kin Yah Brutha for about 25 minutes.

Saturday morning Mom got a call for Courtney. While driving back to his base from the airport, the van Shane was driving had a tire blow. The van rolled.

Shane was taken to Ibn Sina Hospital, a civilian hospital that is the best in the region for nuerology. His condition was bad enough they did not want to fly him to Germany right away. His injuries are extensive and severe.

Shane has a fractured skull, hip or pelvic fracture, a rib punctured his lung, and has a possible hematoma. When brought in, they decided against doing a craniomoty, drilling holes in the skull to relieve pressure. This is a good sign per Queen Colleen. He required more than one blood transfusion. He was conscious (again a good sign) and semi-coherent. He responded to commands to move all four of his extremities, and was able to move them.

His lung was re-inflated and a breathing tube put in. They are not really treating his hip/pelvis yet. The major concern is brain damage.

He is not alone, his passenger, and friend, Master Sergeant Brassa was in the van. He suffered some light injuries, and called in for help. He is visiting Shane in the hospital. There is also a Navy Petty Officer from a nearby hospital who checks in on him.

Courtney has been in contact with Captain Rivera, a medical officer in Kuwait, as well an as army casuality assistance officer local to her in Hawaii. Information is coming out slowly, times zones really hamper things as well.

Shane will be kept under observation for the next 48 hours. When they are capable of moving him, he will be sent to The Landstuhl Medical Center in Germany. From there he will be assesed, and the best place for treatment decided. He may be sent back to Hawaii, or Walter Reed in D.C. Wherever he goes, the Army will send Courtney to be by his side. If he winds up staying in Germany for a while, we’ll all try to make the trip over.

Right now this is a wait and see game. Just waiting around is the most excrutiating thing, but there is nothing anyone can do. If I thought it would do any good, I’d hop on a plane to Kuwait right now. But it would not do anything. If Courtney or my Mom need anything, I will let you know.

UPDATE - Courtney has spoken again to the doctors. Shane has 3 fractures to his skull, two left temporal and one base. He has dural and sub-dural hematomas. His left lung has been re-inflated, and there was some other issue with his right lung we don’t know about (minor). Two pelvic fractures on the left side, they will require surgery in the long haul.

He is in a drug-induced coma, and will stay that way until the breathing tube is removed on Wednesday or Thursday. He will be assesed then and most likely sent to Germany. The thought is he will be in Germany for two to three weeks, then brought stateside to Walter Reed or Bethesda Naval. As active duty military, Courtney might be going to Kuwait to be with him. Family is not allowed. The military will most likely send two family members to Germany when he goes there though. Mind you, everything in this paragraph is subject to change, this is the current line of thought.

2005-03-15 UPDATE - Good news, Shane has been taken off of his respirator early. He is still out of it but starting to come around. They will assess him and he may be going to Germany in 24 - 36 hours. This is a very positive sign. Looks like everyone’s prayers are working.

2005-03-15 Second UPDATE - I spoke with Bill Stebbins, NYC Doc. He was extremely exicted about the new development. He stated he would not be extubated (sp?) unless Shane could absolutely breath on his own. He thinks this is an indicator that the swelling being fought by dehydretics (sp?) has been controlled. Shane has been on some heavy drugs, and not being “with it” is to be expected. Now, Bill like all of us have limited information, but going by the standard protocols of medicine, this is a really good sign.

2005-03-16 UPDATE - Courtney just called, she just spoke with CPT Rivera, the military laison to the civilian hospital. Shane is awake and speaking. We are not sure what he is saying, but his nurses described him as a “feisty young man.” CPT R is on his way to the hospital now to visit Shane. More updates to follow…

2005-03-16 Second UPDATE - Mom called Kin-Girl this morning. Master Sergeant Brassa has been with Shane, and called Courtney, then put Shane on the phone! He was still a little confused (insisting Courtney not go to Germany, as the Army was sending him to Japan, keep in mind Germany and Japan were allies in WWII, and he has been sent to Japan previously for duty.) Courtney will most likely be going to Germany tonight, and may beat Shane there.

You may see in the comments below Jake asking about the Folks at The Red Seat. They emailed him from Soxaholic asking for information so they could send Shane some shirts. I am very touched by this gesture, and will email them back this morning.

2005-03-17 UPDATE - I spoke with Courtney last night, she is on her way to Germany. The poor thing left last night (Wednesday) local Hawaii time, and will land German time Friday morning around 6 am. Shane should be getting there around the same time. While they are both in transit, we will not hear any more updates, though Courtney promised to call in a field report as soon as feasible. She has spoken to Shane again, I asked her to get a portable transcriptionist a la Chappelle Show so we know everything said. She said while is is still a little out of it, most likely from the drugs for his pain, he is the same person he was, the same type of humor, etc. I’ll update as I get them, but it may be a while.

2005-03-18 UPDATE - Kin-Mom has spoken with Da Kine! Shane is now settling in to his new German accomodations. One of the medical personnel over there Shane knows from Hawaii, and was kind enough to place a call for Shane to Mom. She said his voice sounded good (better than hers is currently) that he was speakly clearly. He is still being stubborn, insisting he was in a minor accident, and not going into detail about his injuries, other than cursory - stitches in his head, on his arm, etc. He does not remember the accident at all. Courtney is being set up in a room in the same facility, so she will be close by. Mom just kept saying, he sounds good.

2005-03-20 UPDATE - Yesterday I spoke with Shane. I had yet to cancel my ATT Callvantage service, which made it very easy for me to call internationally at 5 cents a minute from work and home. He kept asking about everyone, and would not complain about his injuries at all. I think he is embarressed over all the attention, and really does not like causing all the worry. He was rather intrigued at the thought of soxaholic strip though…

Today I tried calling to get a status on him, and he was not there. He is currently in air on his way to DC! Courtney is with him, on the same plane. He should be settled in some time tonight.

Now I know everyone wants to cruise on down to see him, but let’s be reasonable. I think I will drive down right away (maybe taking Mom and Sheila with me) for a couple of days. After we come back, Kin Yah will go down. Shannon may be able to go over the weekend. We’ll work out the logistics. If you wanted to see him, please check with Sean or me first. We don’t want to overwhelm Shane, and the hospital has rules about X many visitors at a time, etc. Also, we are not sure how long Shane will be in DC, he may be sent back for rehab in Hawaii, or he could be there for a while.

As always, I’ll post any updates when I get them. Hopefully we’ll have a mailing address soon as well.

2005-03-21 UPDATE - Sweet and Sour - Shane and Courtney landed in Dc about 5:30 last night EST, but didn’t get settled in to the hospital until 8 or so. I spoke to Courtney at 8:30, the sweet is Shane really does seem well enough to move. The sour is the fuckers have already shipped him out again. He is currently in air en route to California. Apparently since he is “capable” of being moved, and Walter Reed is rather full, they decided to send him back to his home unit in Hawaii.

Plan is to get to California tonight some time, as the plane they are on travels at half the speed of smell, where he may stay for a day or two, then back to Hawaii. The hospital he will be in is about 20 minutes from his house. I am waiting to talk to him again before I make plans to go out. I did speak to him last night for about two minutes, when he told me he was leaving. I wanted to jump in the car and head down, but he insisted even if I did make it in time, the prep work to get him moved and all would just prevent me from seeing him. He then called me douchie.

2005-03-25 UPDATE - Shane and Courtney are back home in Hawaii. They arrived Wednesday night/Thursday morning at 3 am local. Courtney slept on a stretcher in Shane’s room, then made it home in the afternoon.

Shane suffered much pain doing a shitload of xrays, and the chest tube being removed, but bitched not a single word. As of this writing (10:30 PM EST) Shane is currently in surgery. Injury list:

Three left side skull fractures
One Right side Skull Fracture
Subdural Hematoma’s (Now gone)
Epidural Hematoma (There but getting better)
Right side brain contusion
Pelvis fractured twice
Fractured shoulder
Collapsed lung (not yet fully inflated, put on O2)
Broken ribs
Fractured tibia
Kneecap knocked out of alignment
Tendons and severe lacerations of right hand

The surgery Shane is undergoing right now is for the hand and knee/leg. While he is out, kill to birds with one stone.

The bigger question I have is how the fuck is he alive? I know the answer too. G-d owed us one. We cashed in a few chips the family had, and Shane is still ours.

Kin Yah Brutha, Kin-Mom and myself are going to be flown out Hawaii by the Army. While we were all pissed about the way he was shuffled back there on a medivac chain, once he got there, wow. He has a whole team of doctors, literally a different one for each body part. I have no doubt he is receiving top shelf care. Soon I will be able to report exactly how he is, as he will be in front of me.

Beyond the medical, Courtney’s obligation to the army is up in December of this year. Shane has filled his obligation and they are currently planning to come to Boston afterwards.

I’ll have an address for sending cards and such shortly.

Oh, I asked Shane if he had anything to say to everyone. He thought about it for a good 30 seconds, and came back with:

GO SOX!

2005-03-28 UPDATE - Da Kine had no problems with his surgery, they did all they hoped to without having to do the stuff they didn’t want to do. He also walked a good 30 feet or so using crutches. Mom, Kin Yah Brutha, and I are heading out there tomorrow. I’ll update as soon as I can when we get there. Maybe a pic or two.

2005-03-30 UPDATE - We made it to Hawaii. Kin Yah slept for 3 or 4 hours, Mom took “mother’s little helper” _atavan and slept for about 95% of travel time. It made it much easier for her and for us. I slept for about 1 hour. Courtney and a woman named Vicki picked us up at the airport. Shane looks good. He has a big ole brace on his right knee, and his right hand is all bandaged up. He has some scabs/road rash looking stuff on his left hand and forehead., and is missing some patches (tiny) of hair were they put in stitches on his melon. He did stay on the couch all night, til bedtime. He can still speak Romainian (we think, we don’t speak it) and remembered things he could not remember when he was in Germany. It was painful watching him go up the stairs, but he went slowly and did not seem in too much pain.

Point of correction - Da Kine was not driving the van. The full story from SGT Brassa is that 4 persons were driving back in a *argh* minivan. A specialist (the term specialist refers to a rank, I think the same level as corporal) was driving. Da Kine was riding shotgun. The specialist was going the speed limit, was passed by some krazy kuwaiti, and slowed down even further. Then the left rear tire blew out. The ensuing swerving to maintain control of the vehicle caused at least two other tires to blow, then the flipping started. Also, when brought in to the ER, Shane was not combative, he was extremely combative. He kept getting up and trying to leave, it took multiple men to hold him down. Given the extent of his injuries, that’s hard core. Finally, Shane’s shoulder is not broken, but is severely sprained.

2005-04-02 UPDATE - Shane is doing well. He had his first PT yesterday. It really wore him out, but he bitched not a bit. Oh yeah, I kinda forgot to mention that Shane is at home. He wanted to get home, and the docs let him go. He goes in to Tripler when he has appointments, and otherwise pretty much stays on the couch. Nothing like having Tivo and Bones to help heal. His pain is being managed well by meds, he has the most trouble with his shoulder. He wants to take us to the North Shore today, and we’ll do some shopping etc. We hope to find some good impact weapons made of wood and bone.

I am closing this thread out now. Shane is hurt, but healing. Any further updates will be their own posts, or can be followed in this new category - Da Kine watch.

Thank you all for your love and support. You are all invited to attend the Corcoran Brothers’ VODKA (Virtual Online Da Kine Award Show and Roast) date to be announced. Please email your jokes and suggestions for categories, along with nominations.

Click on picture for larger view

According to the always-to-be-trusted Guardian:

American soldiers traumatised by fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are to be offered the drug ecstasy to help free them of flashbacks and recurring nightmares.

Um. I had a nightmare the other night that a shipment of HMMWVs didn’t get on the plane I requested, even though I double checked with the Air Force guys. Did you hear me, Tripler Army Medical Center? Where’re my legal narcotics?

(Pssst. I didn’t really have any nightmares. The Air Force has been sweet as cotton candy. I’m just looking for free drugs.)

I’ve been here for almost two weeks now, and I can say it unconditionally: I love Kuwait.

Okay, maybe there are a few conditions. There’s no beer in the entire country. They have to change that for it to be truly awesome. Also, the drivers suck. Still, the drivers are evil in Boston and I love Boston, so that is a minor point.

The city nearest to the base is straight out of a William Gibson novel: neon signs, streets wet despite the lack of precipitation, the smell of roasted meat and old garbage, people crowded in every nook and cranny conversing in Arabic, Farsi, Tagalog, and several different varieties of Indian. Stores are close together and there are upscale restaurants colocated with seedy stalls selling pirated DVDs, both linked to the ground floor via a broken elevator. American cars abound. The cool rich don’t buy Mercedes or BMW; they buy Lincolns, Cadillacs, and ball-busting 1980s Caprices.

I actually met two Romanians the other day. Over the past five years in the United States, I got to use that language a total of three times. In the past month, I’ve gotten to use it twice in Muslim countries. Bizarre.

I love what I’m doing job-wise, too. I work in an office, which is the fate of all officers, but I also get to coordinate missions involving large pieces of military equipment, planes, boats, and civilian trailers. It’s all very butch. The people I work with are awesome. They all know what they have to do and are self-starters capable of working with little or no supervision.

I have read 8 books since I got here. I have also bought an X-Box. We now have 5 linked systems in my tent and play Tom Clancy’s “Ghost Recon 2” nightly. After the deployment, I will require someone to accept this thing from me, since Courtney has declared our home a videogamesystem-free area. I don’t know if it is a good system for kids because all the titles seem to involve killing or sports, but I am open to suggestions.

Mom apparently has some sort of ESP, because I was on Amazon.com going to make a purchase when one of my troops brought the mail in. Mom had sent two things from my Amazon wishlist that I had in my shopping cart, ready to purchase. Awesome.

I’m in Kuwait and the change is breathtaking. This is a real country, with highways, and lights, and people who know how to read and everything. It looks like Vegas without the casinoes and whores.

I am actually paying to be on the computer right now, so I will write more when I get my own computer in my new office.

UPDATE: OK, I have my own computer and decided that I want a summer home in Kuwait. Well, maybe it isn’t that great, but compared to Afghanistan where the temperature is hovering around bittah and the air is thinner than Ally McBeal before breakfast, it is nigh the Garden of Eden (actually, it was part of the greater Mesopotamian area…)

There is a monstrous PX that is better than some small posts I’ve seen in the US. There is a Pizza Hut, donut shop, Subway, Burger King, and Baskin Robbins. The showers don’t make you smell like bleach. This doesn’t sound exciting to anyone but me, huh?

I’m off to Kuwait soon. I’ll be spending the rest of my deployment there. I guess we should change the subject of the posts to “The ‘Wait”, but that’s stupid, so I’ll keep it as “The ‘Stan”. When I get there, I’ll be heading up a team that makes sure parts and equipment flows properly through the Army supply system into Afghanistan. I will update when I get there and figure out exactly what the frig I’m doing.

I’m moving to a new location within the week, so if anyone was planning on sending something to me via the address on the right, please hold off for a tick. I’ll post the new address when I get it.